It was a warm Friday night, the second night of the annual Jackson County Fair. The place was packed with people for this annual weekend event. The fairgrounds smelled of fresh popcorn, corndogs, and apples dipped in caramel. The lines at the food trucks were long for cinnamon elephant ears and tacos and fried cheese and homemade root beer. The longest line was for blue and pink cotton candy.

The fairgoers also waited in lines as long as cotton candy for both new and nostalgic rides. Overhead, colorful spinning lights on the rides shot bright beams into the night sky, and loudspeakers blared the latest hard rock music into nowhere and everywhere. The excited people flapped their tickets against their hands, as they itched to charge to the best seats on the rides.

Once onboard, girls squealed wildly as the Tilt-A-Whirl tossed them from here to there. Young kids screamed and fell into tears when the Drop Tower hauled them farther into the sky than they could bear. Teenage boys covered their hidden fears and swallowed the rising nausea as they tried to handle the spinning pressure of Graviton and the swing of Turbo Force.

This year, there was a new exhibit though. At its top was a goofy caricature of a man and a woman pushing their puckered lips together. In big letters it dubbed itself “The Love Machine.”

There were two sturdy aluminum stairways. They were side by side at ground level, but a few steps up, the stairways separated and diverted directions. At the bottom of the stairways was a thin man in a tuxedo with tails that reached to the ground and large top hat. He called passersby, urging them to attempt The Love Machine. “When was the last time he said ‘I love you’ and mean it?” he would ask. “Been a while, I can tell. Just look at him. Ladies, let The Love Machine do its magic!”

Most couples didn’t acknowledge him. Some pretended like he wasn’t there. Men, in particular, quick-stepped by, but he caught the attention of three young couples. The girls stopped briefly. It was enough time.

“Ladies, how much do these guys love you?” he asked. “Are they just saying ‘I love you’ or do they mean it?”

The girls looked peculiarly at the man and then to their boyfriends.

He took his hat from his head and bowed.

“These guys need to learn to express love, ladies! Men don’t know how. They can’t. They’ve never been taught, so let The Love Machine teach them. Each one of them.”

“These boys won’t say those three magic words in front of these other dudes.”

“Hey, you, in the ball cap. Tell her you love your beautiful girlfriend,” he prodded.

Louie mumbled toward Martha, “I love you.”

The man looked at Martha. “Did you hear him? I didn’t.” He turned to Louie. “Son, love isn’t mumbling. Ladies, a man who mumbles his love doesn’t really love you. He needs to know how to speak, to speak clearly and loudly. He needs The Love Machine! Let it work magic. Just two tickets. Yes, two tickets and you’ll have a new man in minutes.”

The girls looked at their boyfriends. None had committed to The Love Machine.

“Listen, ladies, I will give you your tickets back with two more if he doesn’t come back as a new man—a new man over the top in love. My word is my bond.” He drew a cross over his chest.

Then he held out his hat, waiting for the tickets.

“For me?” Martha asked Louie.

Louie scoffed. “We won’t have enough tickets for the Ferris Wheel, if we do this one.”

“The Love Machine will change your relationship, ladies. A giant wheel won’t do anything for the pair of you. Just two tickets.”

Louie dumped two into the black top hat begrudgingly.

The pair walked to the two side-by-side stairways.

Before they started up, the man told them to say, “I love you.”

“We’ll compare that to how The Love Machine changes him.”

Dramatically, Louie said, “I love you, my one and only.”

“Oh, he’s trying, trying hard, but he still needs The Love Machine.”

Martha and Louie started together walking up the stairways. Then, the stairs turned aside. Their backs were to each other as the stairway led to opposite ends of The Love Machine.

Martha and Louie opened the doors simultaneously. They each stepped inside and disappeared.

Martha found herself in a room circled in mirrors. There were cute party props about love.

She stood before the camera in the room, holding up the different sayings about love and forever wishes.

Louie entered a dark room. No mirrors. A dim, low-watt lightbulb flicked on, casting the room in an odd orange glow. Under the light was a hole in the wall that was waist high. It was lined with gray duct tape. He was confused. He ran his finger along the edge of the hole. Then he noticed, scrawled in black, the word “Knock.”

So he knocked softly, as if unsure The Love Machine was, in fact, a scary ride.

A hand reached through the hole. A female hand. Its slender forefinger, tipped with a dark fingernail, drew him forward. The fingers then unzipped his pants. A breathy voice told him to push his dick through the hole.

He was confused, surprised, even embarrassed. However, the finger wooed him. He pulled out his cock. The hand titillated the erection. The fingers ran up and down the length and then tugged it into the black hole. Immediately, Louie felt warmth and a slippery wetness cover his dick.

With warmth and wetness, a suctioning pressure encircled it, mean and obvious. The suctioning strung out his cock and let it go. The suctioning tightened around him again, tugging once more. His body oozed at feeling the warmth of a sauna enclose his dick. He felt the first pangs of orgasm quickly.

The fingers took a harsh grip on his length and a tongue fiddled with the very tip of his throbbing head.

“Yes, yes,” he growled the simple words.

He winced, tried to hold on for a moment more, and then gave in. He exploded somewhere beyond the black hole.

He pulled out his deflating dick. It was reddened but was satisfied. He tucked it into his pants and zipped up. He realized what had happened. This was no scary ride at the county fair. Quite the opposite.

He yanked open the door.

“Martha!” he shouted when he saw her step from her room. “Martha, I love you!”

He then looked at the people below him, including the two other couples.

“I love her! I always will! I want everyone to hear it. Martha, I love you!”

At the bottom step, he held her next to him. “You are breathtaking. I want no one else, you hear me. No one!”

He hugged her tightly.

“What happened?” Lily asked. “How did …”

The two guys were amazed too, albeit skeptical.

“I have two tickets,” Lily said. “We’re going in.”

She tossed the tickets into the top hat. Lily watched over her shoulder as Liam stepped into the room that had transformed Louie.

Liam closed the door behind him and the low-watt lightbulb clicked on. He saw the black hole, the duct tape and the word “Knock.”

So he knocked and out came a dark-skinned hand with French tipped fingernails. The thick forefinger drew him forward. The fingers unzipped his pants and spread open the fly of his boxer shorts. The palm of the hand pressed against his already-hard cock. Lustfully slow, the fingers took hold of the length and dragged him up against the wall. He felt the rub of a rough wide tongue. It was like a large cat licking him. He felt a drizzle of warm salvia and then an unabashed consumption of his cock.

“My God! Oh, fuck!” he shouted.

His shouts and heavy panting caused the lips and tongue to move with more force. He pounded the wall with his fist.

Quickly, he peaked. The first load of cum shot out, followed my two more clumps.

The tongue did its cat-like lick at the tip.

He heard smacking lips from beyond the black hole.

The dark finger appeared once more through the hole. It drew him close and silently encouraged him to lean down to it. It pointed straight to his mouth. He saw it covered in a shimmering slipperiness in the low light. As he was close, the finger reached up and touched his lips. He leaned forward and put the entire finger in his mouth, sucking off the slipperiness.

The entry door unlocked. He stepped out.

“I am a new man! Completely new. Let the world know I love Lily. Lily is mine. I will care for her and treat her as a queen. My queen! I love you, Lily!”

Lily met him at the bottom of the stairways. She kissed him on the lips. The pair held hands, Lily placing her head on her new man’s shoulder.

Kaleo and Hannah were not interested.

“Hannah, you already know I love you. I could shout from way up there. But I’ve written you poetry and have taken you on picnics and listened when you have had bad days.”

“I know. You even gave me this promise ring.” Hannah boldly showed her hand, bending her wrist daintily.

The tiny jewel encased in the band caught the light from a ride and sparkled.

Kaleo stared deep into Hannah’s eyes and said romantically in his native Hawaiian language, “Ka’u aloha hookahi, baby.”

Hannah hugged him tightly. “Mau loa.”

The man in the tux put on his top hat respectfully. He smiled.

“Sometimes, The Love Machine can do no better.”

The three couples walked on.

And the man began speaking to other couples passing by.

“Ladies, ladies, your guys need to learn to express love! Men don’t know how. They can’t. They’ve never been taught. Let The Love Machine teach your man.”