We like to think that, as a society, we have made progress over the years in the areas of tolerance and acceptance of different sexualities. For example: homosexuality.

Until 1967, this was illegal in the UK. If convicted, a man would be sent to jail and incarcerated with hundreds of sex starved men (which I suspect rather defeated the object). The change in the law in 1967 was only the first small step, and there continued to be legal restrictions until 2013 when the last restrictions were lifted with the legalisation of same sex marriage.

Sure, there are still plenty of homophobes around, but legally there is now no reason to live a life of secrecy, and gays today are far more able and willing to come out of the closet. But the acceptance and tolerance they enjoy is not shared by other groups who practice unconventional relationships.

Despite our self-congratulation, it is still the case that those who enjoy unconventional areas such as BDSM, fetishes, etc., still feel the necessity to keep their private life secret. Society is not as tolerant as it likes to think. In particular, those who pursue non-monogamous lifestyles rarely feel confident enough of acceptance to come out completely.

Most vanilla people are unable to perceive non-monogamy as anything other than cheating, deceitful, and dishonest, and disapproval abounds. Swingers and those in open or polyamorous relationships will confide only to their very closest and most trusted friends, or often, to no one at all.

Those friends who do know often ask questions, the most common being, “Don’t you feel jealous when you watch your partner have sex with other people?” For experienced swingers, the answer is usually no, and in actuality, it’s an experience very much enjoyed.

For those new to the scene, it can be a difficulty to overcome. There are two things that make this process easier. Firstly, swingers must have, and do have, a very close, loving, secure, and committed relationship with their partner. Secondly, they must fully communicate with each other on any issue where either feels uneasy or unsure.

That being said, even established lifestylers can become surprised by insecurity in unusual situations.

Derek and Catherine are a married couple who have been in the lifestyle for some years. Both had had previous long-term, non-monogamous relationships. Derek’s previous relationship has ended, but Catherine still keeps in touch with her former lover, Richard. He lives hundreds of miles away, and Catherine has not seen him since she got married to Derek.

They are now middle-aged but still active swingers. They have both seen each other play with other people on numerous occasions. Never once has either experienced any insecurity or jealousy.

Until one day…

Catherine has a considerable number of friends living all over the world and, from time to time, travels and spends time with them. Derek rarely accompanies her due to considerable work commitments. She was excitedly planning one such trip and discussing her plans with Derek, telling him how many days she would spend with friends she’s known for over 20 years. She paused for a moment, and then said, “I thought I might spend a couple of days with Richard. Is that ok?”

Catherine had a relationship with Richard before coming to the UK, before she met Derek. She took comfort with him when her marriage was falling apart. They love one another, and still do.

She asked again, “Is that OK?” Derek replied “Of course it is, why wouldn’t it be.” But as he said it, he felt an odd pang of emotion that he couldn’t place, describe, or understand. It surprised him. He watched her on many occasions play with other guys, and it never elicited this feeling. Why now? He pushed the feeling out of his mind.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said.

Catherine smiled back at him, “Thank you darling, I was a bit unsure about how you’d react. He means as much to me as you do. I wish you could come too. I’m sure we’d have an amazing time!”

“I’m sure we would,” said Derek, “But don’t worry about it, I’ll be just fine.”

But as the weeks passed and her trip approached, Derek realized that he wasn’t “just fine.” Although his rational mind accepted full well that Catherine’s relationship with Richard was no threat, a more primal part of his brain was not liking the idea at all. He kept it to himself. He was confused and angry with himself, but no matter how much he tried to suppress what he viewed as a pointless anxiety, it kept making its way into his consciousness. He had to admit, he was feeling insecure, even though he knew that there was no reason to feel insecure. Catherine noticed that he was somewhat distracted, and had a shrewd idea of what the problem was. She knew him inside out, but she couldn’t coax any information out of him.

The day of her flight arrived and Derek drove her to the airport. Just before she disappeared into security she hugged him, and looked into his eyes. “I know what’s on your mind,” she said, “and I want you to know how much I love you, and that I’m going to miss you. I wish you could be coming too. But never doubt that I’ll be coming home to you, my love. I have an idea for a nice surprise for you, but I’ll let you know closer to the day. I’ll be in touch every day.”

Derek found her words comforting. He told her he would miss her too and kissed her. She walked towards the security area, turned back to wave, and disappeared through the security gate. Quickly making his way back to the car, Derek drove home. Strangely, he found that, now she had left, his anxiety had decreased. It wasn’t gone altogether, but his rational mind had reasserted control.

The next six days passed quickly. The pair messaged each other frequently and had a couple of Whatsapp calls. Derek had thought of trying his luck on a swingers site for a little distraction, but he found himself unenthusiastic. He just wasn’t in the mood.

After the first week, Catherine took a short flight to Richard’s city. Her lover picked her up at the airport and took her home. As soon as she got there, she video called Derek to tell him she had arrived safely. She introduced Richard, who Derek had never seen. Derek quickly found that he liked the guy who was about the same age as himself, fit and lively.

Catherine started chatting again to Derek, but Derek interrupted her, “You’ve not seen Richard for a long time. I’m sure you can think of better things to do than talk to me.” He smiled. She thought for a second, smiled back and admitted Derek was right. “I wish you were here,” she said. “So do I,” said Derek. She looked at him. “Maybe there is a way,” she said, “I have an idea. I’ll talk to Richard about it later today and get back to you.” She winked and signed off. Derek smiled.

A few hours later she contacted Derek again. “I’ve chatted with Richard,” she said. “I’ve made a suggestion that he’s quite enthusiastic about.” Derek simply said, “Yes?” She continued, “How would you like to watch us?” Derek was a little taken aback. “You mean… fucking?” He asked. She responded, “Well I don’t mean stamp collecting. How would you like to watch us make love?” Derek didn’t need long to think about it. He remembered all the times he had watched her fuck other guys at the club, and how it had turned him on, and he had to admit the idea being suggested was arousing. “I think I’d like that very much,” he said.

“Good!” said Catherine. “We’ll contact you this evening at 7 p.m. your time via Whatsapp. Be ready. I have to go now, we’re going out for a bite. I love you. Bye.” And she was gone.

And so, at 6:30 p.m. that evening, he connected his laptop via an HDMI cable to the large screen TV in the bedroom. He opened Whatsapp, and somewhat illogically and pointlessly, shaved and showered. He then sat on the bed wearing just a dressing gown, and waited.

At exactly 7 p.m., the call arrived. Catherine’s face filled the screen, and Derek positioned the laptop so that she could see him. She was smiling, and he could tell she was excited. She spoke, “Hello, my love. Are you ready?” Derek affirmed that he was. Catherine and Richard then spent a couple of minutes optimising the position of the phone camera, at the bottom left corner of the bed, slightly elevated so Derek would be looking down slightly on the two lovers. They disappeared from view leaving Derek looking at a tidy double bed. He settled comfortably on the bed, watching the screen.

Enter stage right; Catherine, wearing just her underwear. Nothing exotic, just a bra and panties. Derek felt himself getting aroused as she got onto the bed. She looked lovely. Then Richard appeared on the right of the screen, wearing just his boxers, and got onto the bed next to Catherine.

They folded into each other’s arms and spent quite some time quietly kissing, caressing, and exploring each other’s bodies. At one point, Richard reached behind Catherine with his left hand and swiftly unhooked her bra. He pulled the bra forward and off allowing Catherine’s pale breasts to spill out.

For many years, she had had very small, pert breasts. A little later in life, she had had two children, which had left her with more substantial breasts that retained their firmness. Richard caressed and kissed them appreciatively.

Catherine was becoming aroused. And many miles away, Derek’s hands inevitably wandered. He watched, tranced, as Catherine pulled Richard’s pants down and off. From the camera angle, Richard’s cock and Catherine’s pussy were hidden. They would remain so throughout the whole session, but Derek would know exactly what was happening at every stage.

Catherine’s hands had gone down to Richard’s cock and Derek imagined that she was caressing it gently and coaxing him to erection. It was indirectly having the same effect on Derek.

Richard then removed Catherines knickers, and their naked bodies pressed against each other, followed by more kissing and exploring. After a while, Catherine rolled onto her back. Richard turned to face her and Derek saw his right hand disappear between the woman’s thighs.

Derek knew what Richard was doing, playing with her pussy and clitoris. He knew that by now, she would be very wet, as she had been so often with him. As he continued his gentle playing, Catherine’s eyes closed and her breathing quickened. She started to moan quietly and make small thrusting movements with her hips.

Richard increased the tempo slightly. Derek, enthralled, watched her in awe as she climaxed, moaning and gasping. He watched until she subsided, and lay there, her breathing slowing. She opened her eyes and smiled at Richard. “Your turn,” she said.

They moved apart and Catherine rolled onto all fours, facing the Camera and Derek. Richard moved into position, kneeling between her legs. Although Derek could not see, he knew exactly when Richard’s cock entered her.

He heard her gasp as Richard began to thrust. Catherine dropped her elbows to the bed, pushing her rear upwards, allowing Richard to penetrate her more deeply as he continued to thrust. She dropped her head to lie on her forearms, closing her eyes, and clenching her fists as she focused on the pleasure. Miles away, cock in hand, Derek watched the two lovers.

After only a few minutes, Richard started to climax. Just before he could cum, Catherine did something beautiful. She lifted her head, opened her eyes and fixed her gaze on the camera, making eye contact with Derek, and smiled. It was enough to send Derek over the edge, and the two men climaxed simultaneously, though hundreds of miles apart, at the hands of the same woman. Catherine felt Richard fill her, and in her mind, felt Derek’s climax too.

Catherine left the bed and came to sit in front of the camera. She and Derek chatted for a while. All trace of insecurity had left Derek as they talked easily and lovingly, until they said goodbye and ended the call. She would be home in 48 hours.

One day, they all knew, that the three of them would get together. But that’s another story.